Archive for the 'WTF?' Category

Jun 01 2010

kymberly

Hitler Recruited Gay “Enforcers”

Filed under WTF?

But not just ANY gay enforcers….the Fuhrer preferred his homos hot and bothersome and like, totally macho.  So for instance, at a Village People concert, Hitler would have tossed his panties at the construction worker or the cop -  guys who could pump their junk AND their power tools.  He wouldn’t have paid much mind to the Indian or sailor, because everybody knows that effeminate gays weren’t what the third reich liked.  But hey, had the sailor possessed an Orgazmo gun, who knows…
 
This story would be one big, fat bwahaha were it not for the fact that millions of Fox Spews viewers will go like this - “Well yeah, ya know, Hitler was a socialist and Obama is a socialist so now I bet Obama is going to recruit socialist gays just like Hitler.  The homos will be everywhere - forcing us into their agenda.  Then we’ll all be forced into gay, socialist, negroism.”  Seriously, if you don’t know somebody who thinks like this, then you don’t live in a red state. 
 
On another note, this is totally unrelated but freaking hysterical (at least to me, a current Census employee and former census taker).  Some experiences out there in the field were exactly like this next clip.  I called them “WTF moments”.  They were confusing as all hell but sure did beat the snot out of that “scary-guy-with-a-rifle” moment.  
 
Dawn sent me the link.  Thanks, Dawn.  Even though you got me so addicted to demons that I crave them like candy.  LOL.
 
Betty White rocks. 
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No responses yet

May 22 2010

darlene

You Say You Want a Revolution…

Filed under WTF?

Well, you know…we all want to change the world.

 

 But truth be told, I don’t want your revolution.  Because who are you revolting against?  My country, and my government, and my President.  Basically, you are asking for a revolution against ME.

 

And I don’t understand how you possibly can fool yourself into thinking you’re going to make it happen, make it work, make your fantasy dream world come true.

 

militiaYou don’t like the way we do Federal government business now?  So you’re going to do what…storm the halls of Congress and the White House and the Supreme Court?  All three branches of the Federal Government?

 

And you’ll have to kill all of those who resist.  And there will be many who resist.  I will be one of them.  I don’t want people overthrowing my government.  I don’t care who you are, whether you’re from Russia or Iran or North Korea or Rexburg, Idaho…you aren’t forcibly taking over MY government without a fight from me!

 

So let’s say you kill all of us who resist you.  You’re going to do what, after you’ve run all the current elected people out of town?  Have lawful elections to put new people in there?  Well guess what?  All those current fools were elected by the citizens, and when they vote again, they will end up voting for the same kinds of losers who were in there before, don’t you realize that?

 

So how do you prevent that from recurring?  Threaten to overthrow the new set, too?  Only allow your own cherry-picked candidates to run?  Or just select amongst yourselves who will be the next set of rulers?

 

What you’d be doing is bringing totalitarianism into play!!!  Everything must be done your way, or out the next government goes.  Forcibly.   

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What kind of democracy is that?

 

The Constitution frames for us our lawful ways to achieve our hopes, our dreams, our country’s future.  Do you believe we have we drifted away from what the Founding Fathers intended?  Then educate, inform, and win over the hearts and minds of your fellow citizens.  Achieve your goals through the ballot box, as the law provides for.

 

But I want you to consider something.  The Constitution IS A BLUEPRINT.  That means, I might have a different viewpoint than you.  I might want my government to do some basic things that you don’t feel are found there, but I can see those functions in that document as clear as day.  I have rights, too.  And I intend to vote for people who sometimes see things my way. 

 

And you might just have to compromise some times, because that’s how we do things in this great wonderful country.  I’m happy to meet you part of the way, but I’m not willing to let you have all the power in OUR country.  And since each of my neighbors thinks just a little bit different than I do, it seems that none of us will get all of the things that we want. 

 

So why do you feel you have the right to force a revolution against our government, if it doesn’t do exactly what you want it to do?  It’s not doing exactly what I want either, it’s basically doing a little bit of what each of its citizens want.   

 

And that should be alright…it’s the American Way

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8 responses so far

May 16 2010

kymberly

Nazi Tourettes

Filed under WTF?

This link is five minutes of fun (Lewis Black punks the living snot out of Glenn Beck’s obvious obsession with Nazism) -
 
 
And, speaking of Nazis, here’s three minutes of one -
 
 
- This one is particularly funny if you are grossly offended by glaring grammar misuse, and also by Nazis.  (Thanks for this link, Dan.)
 
As Glenn Beck’s evil twin would say -
 
Fact - George W. Bush’s grandfather helped Hitler come to power.  Fact - George W. Bush has REALLY poor grammar.  Coincidence…or are the Nazi grammar police lowering the bar in an attempt to weed out the smart people so they can round us up and do away with us?”  (Then he tears up and cries like a baby.)
 
This last bit has nothing to do with Nazis, but it is something I just heard about, and it’s yucky. 
 
MAJOR banks could outsource data processing work to a group of Indian prisoners….
 
There will be no phones and very limited internet access for the convicts, the company said. The inmates are in prison for crimes ranging from petty theft to murder and rape….
 
“Once they become experienced in this work and go out after completing their sentence, a whole new world of opportunity will wait for them,” Mr Reddy said.
Sheesh, so next we’re going to outsource home alarm-system installations to convicted armed bank robbers, put convicted child molestors in charge of day cares, and hire rapists as body guards.
 
(Eye roll.)
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No responses yet

May 12 2010

kymberly

On the Stupidity Front…

Filed under WTF?

I’m most sympathetic toward the woman who married the Eiffel Tower because of her “curves”.  Like a sexy car.  I totally get that.  Well, kind of.  Not sure how to work out some of the logicistical details, but I suppose with love anything is possible. 
 
As crazy as it may be to legally bind oneself to a roller coaster or anime character, it’s still not as nutty as Victoria Jackson (I thought she was being sarcastic with this video, but it seems she’s not, so now I wonder if she’s even wackier than Sarah).
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And finally, 
 
4 out of 5 Americans distrust the Federal Government.  Ronny Reagan would be pleased, since his goal was to get people to vote against their own best interests - and look! - now 4 out of 5 of us do!  Is there any place on earth with a higher idiot quota than the US?  Alaska and Oklahoma probably raised the bar sky-high, but I could attend any Teabagger convention in any state, sporting my “I see stupid people” t-shirt, and be spot-on. 
 
I used to think I was graced with average intelligence, but now I feel smarter than most people out there (except you).
Still proudly American enough to not want to join a militia against my own government…

No responses yet

May 07 2010

kymberly

Fire Arms, or Fired Up? Que es Mas Illegal?

Filed under WTF?

In the US we have tight drug laws and loose gun laws.  In Mexico they have tight gun laws and loose drug laws.  They have few drug problems, but tons of gun problems.  We have few gun problems (well, until the Teabaggers turn even stupider, forcing the tightening of guns for EVERYBODY), but tons of drug problems. 
 
See a connection yet?  Yeah…Mexican drug lords and American gun-runners have a very unhealthy alliance. 
 
But wait.  There is also the part about all those privately owned prisons, which make a killing off busting people on both counts.
 
By the way, less than one percent of the drugs imported from Mexico is meth…most is pot.  Which we could grow HERE and tax HERE and make money on HERE…except for the Industrial Prison Complex (which is private owned, not government owned).
 
We want the drugs, Mexicans want the guns.  What’s worse?  Raising your kids in the land of rocket-launchers, AKs, and grenades…or next door to Cheech and Chong?  No wonder the brown-skinned people are hopping over the fence.
 
Either way, none of this crap has anything at all to do with the stooped-over, dry-weathered, dirt-caked poor slob who can’t speak American but he sure can pull up your dinner potatoes.  Consider THAT next time you eat a salad…or spark up a weed. 
 
See a connection yet?  Drugs - guns - for-profit prisons.  And MONEY coming out of every orifice imaginable to keep what’s illegal, illegal, and to keep what’s marketed as “bad”, thusly marketed. 
 
I get more annoyed at our blatant refusal to see straight every day (no offense to my gay friends out there).
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One response so far

May 02 2010

kymberly

LameAssed Mentality of Anti-Healthcare People

Filed under WTF?

My best friend is taking a class on “critical thinking”, and the topic du jour is “health care”.  Read her classmate’s logic (and my responses, which are afterwards, in bold).  Tell me if you think he is projecting his self-loathing onto others (which might be symptomatic of our nationwide sociopathy and is therefore scarier than being Dick Cheney’s buddy on a hunting trip).
 
He writes -
 
Um…, we are going to have to do some “tweaking” here.  I feel the main issue with government health care reform is that it will increase taxes on the wealthy.
 
As well it should.  When you live in a country that allows you the breathing room to do well, then you have the responsibility of giving back - yes, even to illegals, who help feed your family for cheap. 
 
The majority of citizens believe that it is unfair to increase health care cost to those who have earned well paying jobs and pay for good  medical coverage.
 
“Earning” a well-paying job has nothing to do with it.  I know people who earn 44.00 an hour and the job doesn’t come with health care.  I know people who get 10.00 an hour and it does come with health care.  It has nothing to do with “earning” a well paying job and everything to do with getting a job at a place which offers health care. 
 
I can understand where they are coming from because there are many citiznes of the United States who have basically under achieved in life.
 
What does under-achievement have to do with it?  Most SELF-EMPLOYED people with homes, businesses, and the mental fortitude to strike out on their own are far from “under achievers” - yet do a count - most of these people are un-insurable.  
 
Another issue, is that under government health care reform, illegal immigrants who defect to the U.S. are entitled to healthcare coverage. That doesn’t sit well with a lot of people. 
 
It also doesn’t sit well with a lot of people that a hard-working, successful, small business person can lose his / her entire life’s savings due to illness - because some other people don’t want illegals getting health care (news flash - they already do, it’s called “Medicaid”).
 
Your statement about persons receiving free health care from the military opposing healthcare  government healthcare reform isn’t exactly true. There are many Department of Defense, Government Specialists, and military personnel who side with the new healthcare reform, I being one of them. Mainly because we understand that not having reform actually drives healthcare costs up.
 
The costs go up in direct relation to how much privately-owned Medicare Advantage can wrangle out of the government.  Refer back to the”donut hole” and the lost rights of Medicare to price-bargain with Big Pharma. 
 
The costs of medicines, utensils, equipment and surgeries increase across the board each year. The main contributing factor to that is providing healthcare to patients without medical coverage. So providing healthcare to everyone (even the under achievers), assists with driving costs down (through time). 
 
It’s like he’s making the point FOR health care, here.  He lost me. 
 
My issue is giving healthcare coverage to illegal immigrants.  
 
The real issue is - which strategy will make the US a more competitive, co-operative force in the global economy.  Feeling angry about illegals getting health care is not reason enough to deny it to tax-paying, hard-working citizens who have the “American Dream” guts enough to strike out on their own, work diligently, and achieve.  They are currently being punished for the sake of illegals.   
 
***
 
This guy said he is “for health care, but only if illegals aren’t allowed to get it.” 
 
Illegals ALREADY HAVE HEALTH CARE.  It’s investment-holding citzens who are tax-paying and hard-working who lack the damned stuff and desperately need it. 
 
Duh.
 
Saying, “I’m for health care, but only if illegals aren’t included”, is like saying, “I’m for gay rights, but only if the gays who want to adopt aren’t included.”  Or, “I’m for women’s right to vote, but only if the women promise to vote the way their menfolk tell them to.”  How about, “I’m for abolishing slavery, but only if any new cargo of captives that comes from the Congo aren’t included.”  Let’s punish all gays because some want to adopt, let’s crush all women’s votes because some won’t do as they’re told, let’s smackdown all blacks because new ones are arriving to our shores daily…let’s deny health care to all Americans because illegals are hopping across the border.
 
And by all means, let’s ignore the fact that America is as much to blame for sad state of Mexico’s economy since we made an under-handed trade deal with their government three generations ago.
 
Bah.  People are stupid.  PEOPLE ARE STUPID. 
 
I’m in a mood to be anti-stupid people today.  None better cross my path or it’ll get bitchsmacked with kym’s ultra-snarky, mean and menacing, evil wicked clue-by-four.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

No responses yet

Apr 25 2010

kymberly

Chickens for Check Ups is Better than Blue Cross

Filed under WTF?

…and Doctors love it!

First we got the auto insurance lizard, then the back-up quacker.  Now, we have been graced with the latest in a long line of creature comforts - Chickens for check Ups.
 
“I’m telling you that this works. You know, before we all started having health care, in the olden days our grandparents, they would bring a chicken to the doctor, they would say I’ll paint your house. I mean, that’s the old days of what people would do to get health care with your doctors. Doctors are very sympathetic people. I’m not backing down from that system.”
 
That was Sue Lowden, Republican nominee.  (Can she pay for chin tucks with chickens, too?)
 
If you’re like me, for whom raising, breeding, and cooping up a plethora of poultry isn’t viable, don’t despair.  There is yet another option - “housepainting”.  And, of course, since doctors are a “sympathetic people”, it’s anybody’s guess what else they might take for payment.  How about a Twinkee for your tonsilectomy?  Or a pastrami on rye for your pancreatitis?  PB for your BP? 
 
Too bad I wasn’t clever enough to figure this out for myself - I could have paid off my broken bone with a beef brisket.
 
Imagine your health care provider’s sympathetic smile when you deliver unto him or her a chocolate covered banana in response to that colonoscopy you just had.  And fathom for a moment the warm-hearted joy said health care provider will feel as he squishes that nutty, chocolatey, banana treat into an envelope and sends it off to the bank which holds his student loan.  Think of how happy the bank loan manager will be to receive such a thoughtful treat.  It just keeps getting better every step of the way! 
 
Chickens for Check ups is a brilliant option for those who are looking for a viable option to the gun-toting, highway-robbing, health insurance thugs.  No longer must we cower in fear of a rate hike, tremble at the words, “claim denied”, bite our nails at an “out of network” notice, or hope and pray we won’t be deemed “high risk” because of that yeast infection in college.  Now - we can proudly saunter up to any health care provider anywhere in the US, drop a drumstick on the counter, and demand diverticulitis drugs.
 
I’m no fortune-teller, but I bet Chickens for Check ups will be a blessing for the common,18th century family.  Do yourself (and your healthy future) a favor.  Deliver your doctor a chicken for your check up (and remember to thank Ms. Lowden personally for her suggestion).  And consider all the possibilities of what a chicken can do for you.
 

One response so far

Apr 04 2010

darlene

Elmore County Drivers

Filed under WTF?

I’m a safe driver.  I have driven for more than 35 years, now.  I have never been pulled over for a traffic ticket.  I got 3 speeding tickets in a two week span on the freeway in 1986 when my speedometer needle broke and I couldn’t guess my speed…but other than that, nothing

So I like to think, I’m a good judge of bad driving.  I’ve grumbled at my share of the 1-J drivers in Eastern Idaho.  Or even the out of state drivers, especially Utah and Saskatchewan.  But there is one Idaho county that trumps them all…Elmore County.  The Mountain Home area. 

I travel quite a bit by car from eastern Idaho to western Idaho.  I-84 between Boise and Mountain Home is the craziest section of the entire drive.  Elmore County license plates whiz by at unnatural rates of speed, and are the weavers on the road between all the rest of us.  I spend that stretch of road with my hands gripped tightly on the wheel, praying some crazy-ass driver from Elmore County doesn’t end my existence.

What is the difference?  Are the crazy drivers all flyboys from the Mountain Home Air Force Base?  Does living by an Air Force Base instill in you a need for speed?  What is the reason, if any?   Why would they be worse than every one else I encounter?

I don’t think I’ve ever passed an Elmore County driver.  So that says they’re going as fast as me or faster. 

This story doesn’t say, they were all Elmore County drivers who had these accidents.  But it is telling, to me, based upon my history with that section of the freeway, that there would be such a lot of accidents when the weather hits a foul note…

5 responses so far

Mar 18 2010

darlene

Healthy, Happy, and Hot

Filed under WTF?

Oh, my.  It’d almost be funny if it weren’t so ridiculously cliché.  The conservative groups who don’t want women to have control of their own bodies, who demonize Planned Parenthood because they help young girls (and women) to enjoy a sexual lifestyle to the same degree that only men once had the freedom to do, and who hate the United Nations because they’ve been brainwashed to think that it’s tantamount to some New World Order that will be used by the Anti-Christ to dominate good Christians everywhere…

Those same conservative groups got word that a Planned Parenthood pamphlet had been distributed to a group of Girl Scouts who were meeting at the UN.  Talk about a perfect storm- of all the boogeymen out there to combine together into one outrageous story.  In fact, it’s a perfect shitstorm!  And worse yet, the pamphlet tells these tender young-uns about S.E.X. !!!

It mentions masturbation, and pleasure!  (gasp)  It talks about the clitoris and the prostate (DOUBLE GASP).

So one of the local Republicans (and überlibertarian)  Tim Urling mentioned this on his facebook page.  My first response was, “ugh”.  Ugh that this was being complained about (all I knew at the time was that it was a perfect storm of UN, Girl Scouts, Planned Parenthood, and SEX!).   I could remain calm, say my “ugh” and not join in the fray.  After all, one can’t get anywhere when arguing with people who insist they are the only ones who know the TRUTH and the rest of us are either evil, blind, or just do not understand.  

Then Tim commented:

The money people spend on Girl Scout Cookies is funneled to pay gun control groups and abortions. 

That’s when I lost my composure and joined in for real.  I’ve heard the “buy a cookie, pay for an abortion” rumor before when folks thought the Girl Scouts funded the NOW (National Organization for Women).  It’s a total load of hooey, and it’s usually perpetuated (but never able to be proven) by wingnuts who really need their women to be seen but not heard.

safe-sexLong story longer, I decided to look for the pamphlet to see for myself.  And when I found it, I discovered, it’s a 20 page booklet about people who live with HIV, and it’s a great educational tool.   It’s a little graphic but it’s nothing that young women or young men shouldn’t know or read.  It discusses safe sex, HIV laws in various countries, and the fact that even with HIV, a person is still a sexual being.  It’s not subversive or disgusting, it’s liberating and honest.   See for yourself.

I can’t even find evidence (other than the scandalized rumormongers) of the UN Girl Scout meeting, and how old the people were who were attending, etc.  I’d still be interested in knowing that.

As usual, Tim did not engage in name-calling or personal attacks, but Brett Ferguson joined in the fray.  Guess even without knowing all the facts, he’s still willing to be mightily upset about it all.

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5 responses so far

Mar 11 2010

kymberly

My Brush with Violence, and Other Ponderances

Filed under WTF?

As you all know by now, last week there was a crazed individual with a gun running amuk and firing away, right by where I work. 
 
Now I read a story about a guy who punched a woman’s dog in the face.  
And I’m starting to ponder the idea that maybe some people are picking up WAY too many tips from ‘American Idol’, because it’s getting brutal out there.
 
My friend Arnie is onto something…he is not my knight in Nihilist armor for nothing, so I KNOW he must be right.  Life sucks, the world is going to end, and only a few will have the composure (like Arnie) to sit back, arms crossed, eyes rolling, grinning sardonically, whilst uttering the final words, “Ha!  I told you so.”
 
But punching a DOG???????????  Come on, there must still be honor even amongst thieves.
That’s all I have for my daily rant.  I missed girl’s night out (because I went to install garage doors with my sweetie - so it’s all good), but I’m exhausted.  So, this is all you get.  Nihilism, gloom, doom, and indignance that a dog got bitch slapped.
 
Bah-humbug all year long-

4 responses so far

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